Just Wanted To Say...

When I first decided that I wanted to start writing on my blog I spent hours looking for the perfect template and more time tweaking the html (I have no html knowledge) to remove the ads.

I never had one favorite color, but I really like green because it reminds me of a lot of good things.

I also knew that I wanted trees in my background because they remind me of this song that I heard when I was 16. It's called "Green Leaves" and it is by Raheem DeVaughn.

I feel that I have grown a lot in the midst of this chaotic year, and that my faith in God has gotten stronger, so I wanted the theme of my blog to embody that.

I am also feeling better since my previous posts and really just needed to rid myself of those negative feelings/vent by some means.

Hard times are like sand paper, so I will endure and look forward to the beauty in the end.

Good night.

"Take the good with the bad, the tears with the laughs and always be positive, and keep growing."

-Raheem DeVaughn

Sighs

This week has been a hard one for me. I have a test tomorrow in a class that I didn't do too well in last fall (total euphemism). I've been pulling all nighters all week and I don't like that I am putting my body through this, but I have to keep the A that I have in this class. I want to show the college of nursing that I am not dumb and that it was really the stress load that caused me not to do well.

In a previous post I mentioned that it is approaching the one year mark of when everything in my life just took a downward spiral. This screenshot is a prelude to that:

*click photo to enlarge*

Just one month and one day later, she left this earth. My best friend, Tati.

Just one year ago, around this time I was so happy, I had just gotten into the nursing program at my school (which is super competitive) and would be going to Miami in less than a month to see Tati and her family. Sighs.

Rest in Peace Tati, I love you.

This Life

This life, This life that we live,

If the masses were given a chance to describe it the adjectives would be so different.

Today I would describe her as hard, cruel, mean

When just yesterday I was on cloud 9, for she treated me like a queen.

It's only 12:24 AM, and the day has started off rough....I got writer's block as I began to write this, but the little that I did write helped me feel better.

Thank you for reading &

Goodnight.

College

The worst time of my life. I can't stand it. I can't wait to get out of here. Man I get nauseous just thinking about class...

"Asher Roth made a song about loving college...hump! He must not be a science major!"

-Me

*Sighs*

Spell it out

I've noticed that people write ILY instead of I love you now and I don't like it.

*crosses arms* hump!

"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."

-Beverly Sills

More Technology, Yet Less Family Time?

This morning I was listening to a radio show and the topic of people always being busy came up. The radio personality also touched on how there is a decrease in the time spent with family.

I find it ironic that we have so much technology which permits us to do things quicker, or not have to do it at all, yet less time is being spent with family. There is such a antithetical dichotomy with technology. Technology has permitted us to do great things from pinpointing one's exact location on earth to discovering cures for cancer, yet in the articles that I read as a follow up seem to regard technology (internet primarily) as one the main contributors to the decrease.

After listening to the radio show I realized how I now devote less time to crocheting, drawing, writing poetry, and studying since I've been in college (I didn't include family because I'm away for school). I grew up with only one television in my house (when I think about it I didn't watch T.V. much because I worked and went to school) and didn't have a computer until the spring semester of my senior year of high school. I realized that in high school I was so much more creative than I am now and that the five minutes spent on YouTube here and the ten minutes on Facebook there add up. (time on YouTube for me easily increases because of those related videos on the side and with Facebook you go to send someone a message then next thing you know an hour later you are looking at photos).

I think I'm going to go back to checking my Facebook only on Fridays and Sundays like I used to and the same for YouTube. Hopefully I will make something, write a poem, or put more time into studying.

LINK TO ARTICLE I READ: http://www.heraldextra.com/news/national/article_680c338d-6d8d-5d27-ad50-fdb45f6c5eb9.html

OTHER GOOD ARTICLES:

http://www.digitalcenter.org/pages/recent_findings_content.asp?intGlobalId=61&intTypeId=2

http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/11-008-x/2006007/pdf/9574-eng.pdf

"Go...go and feel the sand nestle between your toes, let the rays of the sun kiss your face while it rises, stop and let the flowers embrace you with their aroma, allow the rain to caress every inch of your body and when you do, share that experience with someone you love."

-Me, Made this one up since I couldn't find a good quote :)

Over-The-Counter-Culture

The past week and a half have been a little rough for me and I have been a little frustrated. A little of what has me frustrated is how people can't be sad without a diagnosis. It's like you always need a pill to make you happy, you're depressed if you simply just want to be alone, or you need counseling if someone ate your last slice of pie. I'm not saying that people who are depressed, use medicine or counseling don't need it or aren't really depressed, but there are some things that people need not resort to those measures for...I feel.

I did not have the best upbringing and have been through some things that would shock people if they knew, but I find outlets for relieving me of my pain and stress. What sparked this was being offered medicine for a sad time in my life. I think it would be more appropriate for someone to request that as a means of coping rather than it being offered.

I really don't want anyone to take offense to this, I am just frustrated that it feels like every time something goes wrong in my life or I am having a low point in my life it can't be just that, "a low point", but rather has to be diagnosed as SOMETHING!

I guess that the means of coping that people choose are contingent upon their environment. For example I can't blame the rich girl who resorts to counseling because her car was taken away, meanwhile my car could breakdown right now and hoping on the city bus wouldn't be a issue. It all depends of the environment.

Whenever things seem to be going all wrong I find that I am constantly reminding myself that it was done before me, so that means it is possible and that I can do it too. After reading "Up From Slavery" by Booker T. Washington, and learning about the sacrifices he made to achieve greatness, rarely ever do I give myself excuses. For him, leaving a coal mine then walking miles to go to school, and cleaning up the building afterwards as a means to pay for his schooling wasn't enough to thwart his drive.

But yes, I feel like I've said enough. Enjoy the song =]

"They got a pill for my erection, a pill for my depression..."

-Donnie

Today...

was hard, but I know that tomorrow is a chance to make it better.

"Blessed is the man that endureth..."

-James 1:12

Great News!

I Just found out that I will be going to Haiti on a medical mission later this summer and I am ecstatic! I will be going with an organization named CAMEO (Caribbean American Medical Educational Organization). I am first generation American, my parents and my siblings were all born in Haiti. I still have a sister in Haiti with her children who were all displaced by the earthquake on January 12, 2010. I am excited to go see her and to be in Haiti period. I will take many pictures that I intend on posting on my blog.

Until next time...

"Everybody can be great. Because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve.... You don't have to know the second theory of thermodynamics in physics to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love."

-Martin Luther King Jr.

Significance

Today I had an experience that reinforced my philosophy that no one is insignificant, nor should they be treated as such. Too often do we hurt people and make them feel less than either intentionally or unintentionally. You never know what state a person is in. You never know what impact a smile or snide remark can have on a person. Some may think that it is not that serious, but you can change the outcome of someone's life. Sometimes we create monsters by taking one's kindness for weakness or by being just plain mean. After losing someone to suicide I became more determined than ever to spread love wherever I go, even to those I may not think deserve it (people with nasty attitudes)...sometimes it is them that need it the most.

To expand on this a little bit more: When those who have high prestige or are popular reach out to those in the margins who are less social or known, not only does that keep you grounded and show character, It sets an example for others to do the same.

Smile at someone/Make someone smile today. =]

"Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier."

-Mother Teresa